Truth and Grief.

“She was an example to me as a Christian women” several have said. Many are active in church and choir now.

“Jackie helped me recover from a painful divorce as we met week after week for lunch,” Mary said. Mary is getting married in 2 weeks.

“I wanted to volunteer at the hospital because Jackie seemed to really enjoy it so much”, Dorothy said. Dorothy is now a volunteer and I had the joy of giving her Jackie’s volunteer jacket last Sunday.

Gifts have been sent in memory of Jackie to Wycliffe, to Charlton Hospital, Hope for the Heart and to Hillcrest Baptist Church.

I could tell many other stories.

Jackie impacted a lot of lives, including mine.

I eagerly collect these nuggets and put them in a loose leaf.

Part of healing from grief I am told is to remember the good things, the special moments. It is also important to be truthful about the less than perfect aspects of the loved one’s life or the relationship. God has been helping me to be truthful and realistic while still relishing the wonderful testimonies.

The truth really does set you free – both the upbeat and positive as well as the difficult to face. And the truths of God's word are setting me free too. Slowly free of debilitating grief and free of destructive sin patterns.

Engaged to the Lord

It was this time of month in March 1990 when I proposed to Jackie at the end of Water Aerobics class at Duncanville Athletic Club. We both loved water aerobics and had so much fun exercising together in the water and we also enjoyed the commaradarie with other class members. Everyone knew Jackie and I was known as the class clown because I would crack jokes or making funny noises as we went through our familiar routines. Jackie and I went several times a week at lunch break from our roles at the Wycliffe Center. So it seemed like a fitting setting to propose.

On this particular day, I arranged with her Supervisor, Gordon Christian, for Jackie to have the afternoon off. I also had flowers waiting at the front desk for her when she left the club. I loved Jackie so much - still do.

Gloria Farah, a good friend and a mentor to Jackie, brought in the ring in her towel and placed it at the specified spot on the edge of the pool. Gloria also brought in a camera to document the moment.

Jackie was thrilled and by the way, she said, “Yes!” She talked of this event for years afterward. And I gained a reputation for being creative that was a challenge to live up to.

Jackie and I were both engaged to the Lord and sealed by the Holy Spirit many years before this day. My marriage to Jackie has now ended. Ahead for us, when we are both resurrected, is a part in the great wedding supper of the Lamb. Jackie is in close, intimate relationship with the Lord right now with no barriers. I will be someday soon. While it may seem sad that there will be no marriage in heaven, our closeness, our intimacy because of our marriage to the Lord will be greater in heaven than our relationship was on earth.

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Jesus replied, "The people of this age marry and are given in marriage. But those who are considered worthy of taking part in that age and in the resurrection from the dead will neither marry nor be given in marriage, Luke 20:34,35

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God [do not offend or vex or sadden Him], by whom you were sealed (marked, branded as God's own, secured) for the day of redemption (of final deliverance through Christ from evil and the consequences of sin). Eph. 4:30 Amplified

Then I heard what sounded like a great multitude, like the roar of rushing waters and like loud peals of thunder, shouting: "Hallelujah! For our Lord God Almighty reigns. Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready. Fine linen, bright and clean, was given her to wear." (Fine linen stands for the righteous acts of the saints.) Rev. 19:6-8

Mourning now, laughter later

Even now, there are days when I experience the joy of the Lord. Some Day I will laugh with the resurrected, redeemed, including with the Lord and with Jackie.

"Just as Jesus promised satisfaction as a reward in Heaven, He also promised laughter. Take any group of rejoicing people, and what do you hear? Laughter. It is God's gift to humanity, a gift that will only be raised to new levels after our resurrection."

"The reward of those who mourn will be laughter later. Passages such as Luke 6 gave the early Christians strength to endure persecution and death because they know that their present trouble isn't all there is. They know that someday they will laugh."

"Whose laughter will be loudest and most contagious on the New Earth? Jesus Christ's." Heaven (Bible Study) by Randy Alcorn, p. 135.
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"Blessed are you who hunger now, for you shall be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh." Luke 6:21

"Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because geat is your reward in heaven." Luke 6:23

" Do not be grieved, for the joy of the LORD is your strength." Nehemiah 8:10b

"Worship the LORD with gladness; come before him with joyful songs." Psalm 100:2

"Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, 'The LORD has done great things for them.' " Psalm 126:2

"and the ransomed of the LORD will return. They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away. " Isaiah 35:10

"Burst into songs of joy together, you ruins of Jerusalem, for the LORD has comforted his people, he has redeemed Jerusalem. " Isaiah 52:9

Being in the "Prime of Life"

March has arrived. I was on a trip for the first couple of days of the month and so didn’t even notice. But then last night sitting at home alone, once again, after having spent the last several days with people, I began to feel sad. I felt the let down and the house was still empty. And in my state of mind I began to realize that it was in March of last year that Jackie’s physical descent began to be manifest. At first it was just leg pain – maybe a hamstring. Then in rapid order the symptoms began to develop. We chronicled all that in our emails last spring and summer.

Author, Randy Alford, in his book entitled, HEAVEN, speaks of our approaching “peak” as our physical body begins to deteriorate. That certainly is opposite to the world’s value system, isn’t it? And then when we are resurrected we have hit our stride, our peak!

Most of us yearn to have the bodies we had in earlier years. The looks, the muscle tone, the energy, the memory, the stamina, the ease of movement, the relative lack of pain, few if any medicines, etc… Certainly, Jackie was a prime example of someone who diligently took care of herself. She exercised regularly, she ate healthy foods, and she kept herself neat and attractive. It was so hard to see her body decline and I miss her terribly for so many reasons and on so many levels. But actually, she has now begun to approach her peak. With the resurrection she will be at her prime.

Certainly, this truth doesn't remove all pain and sorrow related to physical decline and death, but perhaps if we were to begin to view physical decline as the approaching of the prime of life we wouldn’t worship youth quite so much in our culture and we would not have such a negative view of physical decline and death.

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42 So also is the resurrection of the dead It is sown a perishable body, it is raised an imperishable body; 43 it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power; 44 it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body. If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body. I Cor. 15: 42-44;