Dear Friends,
As summer approaches, a persistent sadness is taking root in my soul.
Being a part time writer affords me much time to spend with my family in the summer, but my illness makes this coming time bitter sweet. After all, a father takes care of his family and does not leave them to go on a permanent, heavenly vacation. I struggle with the guilt and the coming loss.
It all comes down to Romans 12:3: "Be honest in your estimate of yourself, measuring your value by how much faith God has given you" (NLT). Almost daily, I confess the weakness of my faith to God, faith that He loves me deeply, faith that He loves my family even deeper, faith
that He will care for my sons.
It's funny where God leads us in the Scripture just at the times we need it. For some reason, I was inclined to read all the Messianic and prophetic portions of Isaiah yesterday. Again God exhorted me not to be afraid that some plan conceived behind closed doors will be the end of me (8:12). He reminded me not to be afraid of anything but the Lord Almighty (8:13). He keeps me in perfect peace because I trust in Him and my thoughts are fixed on Him (26:3), and I will always trust in Him because He is the Eternal Rock (26:4). And then God gave me His great
hope in chapter 44: 3-4. "And I will pour out my Spirit and my blessings on your children. They will thrive like watered grass, like willows on a riverbank."
This morning, I fled to Romans 8, as I often do for comfort, and at the very moment my oldest son, Conor, snuggled up with me and laid his head on my lap, I read Romans 8:28: "For those who love God, all things work toward the good." My own words from a chapel speech I gave at my school three weeks ago echoed in my thoughts. "For my sons, my death will be a bad thing, a horrible event, but God will turn it into good in their lives." Then I read verse 32 of chapter 8 and remembered that God did not spare His own son but gave Him up for me. I trust in a God who knows the pain of being separated from a child.
Many of you have shared your own fears and struggles with trusting God with your children. Early this morning, I took my boys fishing, and two huge vultures were perched on the roof of a barn, and sparrows flitted about them seemingly unaware of these hideous birds of prey. But the sparrows were safe in their nests beneath the roof of the barn just as our children are safe beneath the eternal wings of their heavenly Father.
I encourage you to place your children beneath those wings today as I will try to do. Daily I pray that the ruler of this world does not touch my sons, and I wrote to my boys in their journals that if I die, I will still pray for them daily from the midst of that great cloud of witnesses (Hebrews 12:1). That may even be the purpose of this cancer. The good from this evil may be that I can do more for them in heaven than I can here on earth.
Grace and peace to all of you,
Tim
PS: My chapel speech can be heard on the home page of my school's web web site at www.Phil-Mont.com
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Tim Eimer: meditations on "trouble" from Psalms 102, 103 and 91
Dear friends,
Despite my encouragement to you in my last email to "not let your hearts
be troubled," I have been troubled the past few mornings. I looked at my
youngest son, Torin, this morning and thought, "I'm never going to be
able to take him backpacking." I gazed at Conor, my eldest, and thought
about yesterday when I took him bike riding and played baseball and chess
with him, and I thought, "He will be crushed when I'm gone."
I sought refuge in the Psalms but felt overwhelmed like the Psalmist who
wrote Psalm 102. Like him, my heart is sick and whitered like grass (v.
4); I watch my days disappear like smoke (v. 3); I watch my life passing
as swiftly as the evening shadows (v. 11), and sadness fills me because
God is cutting me down in midlife and shortening my days (v. 23).
Then, I thought about getting gas for my car at WaWa yesterday. (WaWa is
a gas station here in the Northeast.) I live in Horsham, PA, which Money
Magazine has ranked the 15th best place to live in America, but you would
never know it by looking at the harried, troubled faces of the people
scurrying in and out of doors clutching their morning coffees and shaking
their heads in disgust at the price of gas. The enormity of their
hopeless expressions nearly broke my heart. I thought about the parents
at the bus stop who do nothing but complain and gossip and throw up their
hands in defeat. I thought about a fellow swim team parent, who has lived
his entire life in Horsham attending a Lutheran church, but when I asked
him what his church taught about salvation, he simply shook his head and
said, "I have no idea. I guess I wake up in the morning and I'm saved."
Watching these poor people labor cheerlessly through their lives in this
15th best place to live, I echo the sentiment of the main character from
that same Stephen Lawhead book I've been reading, "I fear death less than
empty, wasted life."
So prayed hard this morning and read more Psalms. I fought the battle
against fear and discouragement that I fight every morning. And again God
picked me up and dusted me off. As David did in Psalm 103, I tell myself
to praise the Lord (v. 1). I also tell myself never to forget the good
things he has done for me (v. 2). I remember that he forgives all my sins
(v. 3), heals all my diseases (v. 4), surrounds me with love and tender
mercies (v. 4), and fills my life with good things (v. 5).
Even as I write this letter, I am finding "rest in the shadow of the
Almighty" because I have chosen to "live in the shelter of the Most High"
(Psalm 91:1). Though I pray for their success, I am not trusting in the
upcoming medical treatments. Last time I checked, modern medicine has not
cured mortality. David and all the psalmists have been dead for 3,000
years, but God is still their fortress even today.
Like the Psalmist, I also must cry out, "God alone is my refuge, my place
of safety. He is my God, and I am trusting in him" (91:2). And like the
Psalmist, God will protect me from the fatal plague (v. 3). He will
shield me with his wings and shelter me with his feathers (v. 4). God's
faithful promises will be an armor of protection for me (v. 4), and I
will not be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor the dangers of the
day nor the plague that stalks me in the darkness (v. 4-5).
I prayed for those people at WaWa. I see the sadness of their hearts on
their faces. They know deep inside that their days are disappearing like
smoke, and I dare say most of them know nothing of these comforting
promises God extends to them. I encourage you to hide these same promises
deep in your hearts that you may remain beneath God's sheltering wings on
that day of trouble coming in your future, but let us also pray for those
filling up their cars with gas. This world needs an ocean of grace, but
everyday, we can be springs of living water in this desert of gas
stations and food markets and soccer games.
God bless,
Tim
Despite my encouragement to you in my last email to "not let your hearts
be troubled," I have been troubled the past few mornings. I looked at my
youngest son, Torin, this morning and thought, "I'm never going to be
able to take him backpacking." I gazed at Conor, my eldest, and thought
about yesterday when I took him bike riding and played baseball and chess
with him, and I thought, "He will be crushed when I'm gone."
I sought refuge in the Psalms but felt overwhelmed like the Psalmist who
wrote Psalm 102. Like him, my heart is sick and whitered like grass (v.
4); I watch my days disappear like smoke (v. 3); I watch my life passing
as swiftly as the evening shadows (v. 11), and sadness fills me because
God is cutting me down in midlife and shortening my days (v. 23).
Then, I thought about getting gas for my car at WaWa yesterday. (WaWa is
a gas station here in the Northeast.) I live in Horsham, PA, which Money
Magazine has ranked the 15th best place to live in America, but you would
never know it by looking at the harried, troubled faces of the people
scurrying in and out of doors clutching their morning coffees and shaking
their heads in disgust at the price of gas. The enormity of their
hopeless expressions nearly broke my heart. I thought about the parents
at the bus stop who do nothing but complain and gossip and throw up their
hands in defeat. I thought about a fellow swim team parent, who has lived
his entire life in Horsham attending a Lutheran church, but when I asked
him what his church taught about salvation, he simply shook his head and
said, "I have no idea. I guess I wake up in the morning and I'm saved."
Watching these poor people labor cheerlessly through their lives in this
15th best place to live, I echo the sentiment of the main character from
that same Stephen Lawhead book I've been reading, "I fear death less than
empty, wasted life."
So prayed hard this morning and read more Psalms. I fought the battle
against fear and discouragement that I fight every morning. And again God
picked me up and dusted me off. As David did in Psalm 103, I tell myself
to praise the Lord (v. 1). I also tell myself never to forget the good
things he has done for me (v. 2). I remember that he forgives all my sins
(v. 3), heals all my diseases (v. 4), surrounds me with love and tender
mercies (v. 4), and fills my life with good things (v. 5).
Even as I write this letter, I am finding "rest in the shadow of the
Almighty" because I have chosen to "live in the shelter of the Most High"
(Psalm 91:1). Though I pray for their success, I am not trusting in the
upcoming medical treatments. Last time I checked, modern medicine has not
cured mortality. David and all the psalmists have been dead for 3,000
years, but God is still their fortress even today.
Like the Psalmist, I also must cry out, "God alone is my refuge, my place
of safety. He is my God, and I am trusting in him" (91:2). And like the
Psalmist, God will protect me from the fatal plague (v. 3). He will
shield me with his wings and shelter me with his feathers (v. 4). God's
faithful promises will be an armor of protection for me (v. 4), and I
will not be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor the dangers of the
day nor the plague that stalks me in the darkness (v. 4-5).
I prayed for those people at WaWa. I see the sadness of their hearts on
their faces. They know deep inside that their days are disappearing like
smoke, and I dare say most of them know nothing of these comforting
promises God extends to them. I encourage you to hide these same promises
deep in your hearts that you may remain beneath God's sheltering wings on
that day of trouble coming in your future, but let us also pray for those
filling up their cars with gas. This world needs an ocean of grace, but
everyday, we can be springs of living water in this desert of gas
stations and food markets and soccer games.
God bless,
Tim
Sunday, May 4, 2008
This is your season to be happy!
May 7 would have been Jackie's 67th birthday. Her first since going to be with the Lord - my first without her.
I bought a card and put it on the small round table I have in my home office with her picture and Bible and a few other things.
The front cover shows a heart and a cross in white and pastel colors. It reads:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just as man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgment, Hebrews 9:27
After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. I Thess. 4:17
Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready. 8Fine linen, bright and clean, was given her to wear." (Fine linen stands for the righteous acts of the saints.) Then the angel said to me, "Write: 'Blessed are hose who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!' " And he added, "These are the true words of God." Rev. 19:7-9
as you look forward to the day of God and speed its coming. That day will bring about the destruction of the heavens by fire, and the elements will melt in the heat. But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, the home of righteousness.
So then, dear friends, since you are looking forward to this, make every effort to be found spotless, blameless and at peace with him. 2 Peter 3:12-14
I bought a card and put it on the small round table I have in my home office with her picture and Bible and a few other things.
The front cover shows a heart and a cross in white and pastel colors. It reads:
It's Your Birthday
To everything there is a season...
Ecclesiastes 3:1
On the right inside cover I wrote "May 7, 2008" and "Dear Jackie,". Printed in the center of the page is the following:
This is your season to be happy!
God Bless You
On Your Birthday and Always
I wrote the following at the bottom:
This is your season; this is your time; the fulfillment of everything you yearned for and yet the best is yet to come! Rejoice in the Lord always.
I love you and miss you very much. I will join you in rejoicing when the Lord calls me.
Love always,
Fred
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sometimes, a secular love song or even a simple birthday card can be profound when we know eternal truth. Jackie is rejoicing right now in the presence of the Lord. One day God will create the new Heaven and the new Earth (Rev. 21:3).
As for me, I will join her one day because I too love the Lord and have asked him to be my Savior and my Lord. I will join her at God's appointed time. Right now, as part of the bride of Christ on earth I am preparing my wedding garmet by doing the righteous acts the Lord has for me yet to do. And then we will be with the Lord together forever.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just as man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgment, Hebrews 9:27
After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. I Thess. 4:17
Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready. 8Fine linen, bright and clean, was given her to wear." (Fine linen stands for the righteous acts of the saints.) Then the angel said to me, "Write: 'Blessed are hose who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!' " And he added, "These are the true words of God." Rev. 19:7-9
as you look forward to the day of God and speed its coming. That day will bring about the destruction of the heavens by fire, and the elements will melt in the heat. But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, the home of righteousness.
So then, dear friends, since you are looking forward to this, make every effort to be found spotless, blameless and at peace with him. 2 Peter 3:12-14
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