In recent weeks, the chemotherapy symptoms have receded, but it is still a daily battle. At times I wake in the middle of the night with my hands or feet throbbing like raw burns. Some weeks I can play basketball; other days I hobble about on blisters. Each night near dinnertime, stomach virus symptoms hit me, and after an exhausting fight, I often crash into bed at 8:00. I feel guilty even mentioning my problems when I know so many of you suffer with chronic pain. I admire your perseverance and enduring faith.
This past month, God seeded my thoughts with this idea of endurance. Today, like many other days, discouragement grapples for control of my thoughts and soul, and the Spirit prompts me to see beyond my warring emotions and rest in the goodness of God. His faithful love endures forever (Psalm 106:1).
This hard patch in my life is an opportunity for joy. This trial tests my faith and churns up fertile ground to revitalize my endurance. When my endurance grows to full stature, my character will be strong and complete and lack nothing (James 1:2-4). To receive all God has promised me and continue in His will, I need patient endurance (Hebrews 10:36).
God reminds me of the great honor He bestowed on Job for His endurance. God is filled with tenderness and mercy; His plan for Job ended in good; His plan for me will end in goodness; amazing grace is also His plan for you even amidst your troubles (James 5:11). Though we endure many trials for now, wonderful joy awaits us, boundless mercy, resurrection to a new life, a priceless inheritance, the salvation of our souls (1 Peter 1:3-6). As our faith is refined by our fiery trials to a purity beyond gold, its strength will one day bring us glory and praise and honor on the day Jesus reveals Himself to the world (1 Peter 1:7).
I know this letter finds many of you in trials and trouble; that is our perpetual condition on this planet. I encourage you to endure the race God has set before you. Strip off everything that slows you down. Fix your sight on the Author and Perfecter of our faith. A great cloud of witnesses to our lives of faith surround us even now and roar a great cheer for us (Hebrews 12: 1-4). We believe we are more than conquerors through Christ; they know it (Romans 8:37).
I heard a great pastor speak on suffering recently. He said God will always delivers us from our suffering.
- He will deliver us from it, or
- He will deliver us through it, or
- He will deliver us in it.
My doctor told me today my long-term prognosis is completely unknown; this experimental drug has only been used in this small study for three years. Some patients are doing well; others are not. God did not deliver me from this trial, and I do not know if He will deliver me through it or in it, but if He does not, He lends me the strength to endure it each day.
God bless,
Tim
