Tim Eimer: Question- Why me? and God's response.

Dear Friends,

After three years of cancer, I finally popped the question, or rather the question popped out of me. While strapped inside of the mask, I asked God, very tentatively mind you, “Why me?” I blame a woman at the pool for my misstep. (I must shift the blame to somebody.) There she sits day after day with skin shriveled and prune-like from decades of excess sun, puffing down a pack or two of cancer sticks, munching on Velveeta smothered nachos, and never rising from her seat until its time to leave. Adding her insult to my injury, she must be 110 years old. And I have cancer? Lord surely there has been some kind of mistake. For three decades I’ve worked out 5-10 hours a week. Why me? My diet is 80% whole grains, fresh fruits and veggies. Why me? I’ve never smoked or taken drugs; and I always slather myself with sunscreen, and I take my vitamins. Lord, Oh Lord, why me?

As you can well imagine, this simple question opened the latch and released the floodgates of hidden sin within me. A rising tide of polluted detritus trapped in the pit of my soul gushed out into plain view. Mucking through the mud deep down in my spirit, I saw the ugly truths once hidden by this dirty reservoir. I whisper them to my God. Lord, I do not fully trust you. I really don’t have faith that all the promises you give in the Scriptures actually belong to me. I do not believe, deep down in the core of my soul, that your love for me is truly too deep for me to fathom and will last for an eternity. This plan you have revealed, this path you have set me on, is flawed; I’m heading in the wrong direction, away from my good health, away from my family, away from my little boys. This radiation makes me weaker everyday, and I’m really too young to die. God you need to give me back my control. I need my cancer-free life back!

I don’t know about you, but once I start spewing out blasphemies; it’s hard for me to stop. But like He did with Job, God answered my accusations. Fortunately for me, He was far kinder with me than He was with Job. He brought a sermon on Mark chapter four to my attention. Though a fierce storm battered the disciple’s boat and threatened to swamp them, Jesus slept at peace in the boat. He is in the boat with me during this storm, and He is at peace. In the storm, He grants me peace of mind and heart, an incomprehensible peace not understood by the world. “So,” He says “don’t be troubled or afraid” (John 14:27).

But there is more God has to say to me. Have you not comforted others because you have cancer, Jesus asks me? Then praise your Father. He is the source of all comfort. He pours His comfort over you so that you can extend comfort to others. Your small troubles bring you great benefit and the very salvation of your soul. (2 Corinthians 1: 3-7)

God is still not finished with His response. Have none of those children’s Bible stories you read to your sons each night penetrated your thick skull? “Be still, child, and know that I am God. Wait patiently on me” (Psalm 37:7). Do you have a firmer expectation of your salvation? Has your character been strengthened? Have you learned to endure? Then know that this trial has been good for you (Romans 5: 3-5).

God reminds me of my earthly wealth. Remember, a few years back, all the corrosion and grime smeared on the surface of your faith? Do you recall your misplaced focus, hidden sins and lackluster spiritual relationship with me? The cancer has scrubbed and scrapped and polished your faith to reveal the refined gold beneath. Your faith becomes stronger and more beautiful everyday. Everyone is talking about it even though you cannot see it through the eyes of your present suffering, but this tested faith will bring you glory and honor and praise on the day I reveal my son (1 Peter 1:3-9). Consider it all joy.

And have you so easily forgotten glory, my son? All the good I have brought into your life is but a taste of your future in glory. Awaiting you are the joys of heaven (Colossians 1:5), the Wedding feast of the Lamb (Revelation 19:9), endless spiritual blessings (Ephesians 1:3), an inheritance beyond price both rich and glorious (1 Peter 1:4, Ephesians 1:18), a heavenly home (John 14:1), the great prize of Christ (Philippians 3: 14), a priceless treasure (2 Corinthians 4: 7), a resurrected body (1 Corinthians 15: 5), and a new country of which you are a chosen citizen (Philippians 1:27).

So, friends, before you ask the question, “why me?” prepare yourself for your Father’s answer.
Stars are always above us; they are there in every bright blue sky, but it is only against the black background of a dark night that they shine with such brilliance. Shining stars are not often visible in daylight; God’s glory is not clearly apparent during the good times of a Christian’s life. In our suffering, God’s glory shines with brilliance through us against the black backdrop of our trials.

God bless,
Tim