Tim Eimer (fr. Sat. 7/5/08): Prayer is not about me

Dear Friends,

The worst moment of my life happen several months ago. I was living in isolation at my mother’s house while receiving a radioactive iodine treatment that prevented me from being with my family for a week. Just days before, my doctor had informed me the cancer had spread to my lungs.

In the solitude of my mother’s home, I felt embroiled in a spiritual battle. Despair, sorrow and perhaps Satan himself hammered at my thoughts and spirit all week long. I rose one morning with a deep ache in my heart. Soon, a deep sadness flooded my soul, and the despair threatened to drown my spirit. Curled up on my bed, I uttered the words of Jesus in Gethsemane the night before the cross, “My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death.” (Matthew 26:38) I actually feared my sorrow would kill me. All I could do was to beg God to help me, to save me.

Then my wife, Gayle, called. For several minutes she waited for me to speak, but all the words had dried up in my mouth. So she prayed. She prayed a long prayer, and as she prayed, God's warm peace settled over my body and spirit. In minutes, the deep sadness drained from my soul as if a plug had been pulled in its depths, and I relaxed in a powerful, secure rest knowing that the everlasting arms of God were beneath me. (Deuteronomy 33:27) After she finished, I said goodbye and drifted to sleep with the strongest impression, almost a vision, of great white wings covering me in my bed. I dreamed of heaven. I raced up bright shining streets, delighted in the spray of sparkling fountains and soared high over our great eternal city. Hours later, I woke without fear, and the moment I woke, a good friend called to offer me more comfort and prayer.

I know this story shouts out “Hallmark movie cliché!” but it was the greatest experience of prayer in my life. Before my illness, I slogged through my prayer time guiltily thinking it was a waste of time. God knows what I need, I thought; why do I need to ask Him for anything? My illness has revealed that prayer is not about the asking. It is about inviting Almighty God to come and fellowship with me. During prayer, I become aware of the Holy Spirit dwelling inside of me granting full assurance of the truth behind my salvation. (1 Thessalonians 1:5)

Prayer refocuses my sight on the realities of heaven where Christ sits at God’s right hand in the place of honor and power. (Colossians 3:1) It provides a guarantee that I am purchased as a son of God and will receive everything the Father has promised. (Ephesians 1:14) Prayer imparts the gift of perfect peace in my heart and mind (John 14:27), controls my mind to bring me life and peace (Romans 8:6), and relieves me of all anxiety. (Philippians 4:6) Prayer assures me of my future immortal life beyond this frail earthly tent. (Romans 8:11)

My friends, after years of stubbornness, I finally understand, deep in my soul, that prayer is not about what God can do for me but what He will do through me. It’s not about me (who would have believed it?); it’s about Him. Despite this revelation, the inadequacies of my prayer life still shock me. The Apostle Paul’s faithfulness in prayer amazes me and is a great example for me. He always prayed for the church at Philippi (Philippians 1:4), brought the needs of the Roman church before God day and night (Romans 1:9), never stopped praying for the Ephesians (Ephesians 1:16), continued praying for the church at Colossae from the time he first heard about them (Colossians 1:9), thanked God and constantly prayed for the believers in Thessalonica (1 Thessalonians 1:2; 2 Thessalonians 2:3), and faithfully prayed for Philemon (Philemon 4) and Timothy (2 Timothy 1:3-4).

Every night, I pray with my boys that they become strong men of God, and I do pray for myself a lot, but I fail to pray for my school, my church, my Christian friends, and my lost friends each day. Practically speaking, I need three or four hours of prayer each day to be spiritually healthy, but I rarely hit that mark.

In Asia, Paul was crushed, completely overwhelmed, and expecting death, but he learned to rely on God, who can raise the dead and deliver him from mortal danger, instead of himself. God rescued him, in part, because the Christians in Corinth prayed for his safety (1 Corinthians 1:8-11).

As my radiation treatment starts Monday (July 7), I selfishly ask for your prayers. Because of prayer, I passed through two surgeries without popping a single pain reliever, and

- I ask you to pray for the same hedge of protection now.
- I ask you to pray for God to draw people into my sphere influence as I sit in that waiting room everyday for thirty straight “work” days.
- I ask you to pray that I use my waiting time wisely in prayer and writing and sermon preparation and not in fear and anxiety.
- I ask you to pray that the Spirit continue its transforming work in my soul.
- Most of all, I ask you to pray for God’s light to shine through me in that place of dread and sorrow. There are now hundreds of you who read these letters, and so there are thousands, perhaps tens of thousands, of potential prayers that could rise up to our Savior as a sweet perfume asking Him to show His power in a place where hope is so often dim or extinguished all together.

This will be my prayer in the coming weeks.

God bless,

Tim