Tim Eimer: How can good news cause so much trouble?

Dear friends,

How can good news cause so much trouble? A storm of conflicting thoughts and doubts raged through my mind the past few weeks. Before the news of a possible cure, I straddled two parallel paths each day. I trudged along a path of sorrow about leaving my family behind, but I also raced along a path of joy. I tasted the sweet fruits of glory. I experienced God’s power in my preaching, chapel speaking, writing and daily events. My mind focused on the realities of heaven.

Now my direction has reversed. I want to live, don’t get me wrong. Daily I beg God for the joys of raising my children; I desire my “full measure” of years with my wife, but the beauty of heaven is receding. I feel the Spirit’s power draining away from me like water being wrung from a sponge. In recent years, I’ve soared atop the peaks of God’s insights and passed beneath the black shadow of death. Now, life seems filled with drudgery and details. I am tethered once again to this gray, troubled planet.

Again, I retreat into the psalms of David. They ground me in reality. This man, Israel’s ancient king, speaks to me from across three thousand years of human history. He suffered great distress as do I (Psalm 55:2). One moment, he courageously faced death by the power of God (Psalm 55:18); the next moment he crumpled into a beggar pleading for mercy (Psalm 55:4-5). It is the same with me. God allowed suffering in David’s life so he could speak to generations of the faithful stuck in the mire of doubts on this dull world. He speaks to me now.

So I will begin as David always began. I poured out my heart to God and committed myself to trusting Him always (Psalm 62:8). As I poured out my turmoil, the fog of doubts and disappointments cleared, and I saw the miraculous deeds he has done in my life (Psalm 52:9). Jehovah has been with me since birth (Psalm 71:6), and at least six times (by my count), He has rescued me from death (Psalm 56:13). As David was surrounded by fierce lions (Psalm 57:4), cancer, the great predator of our time, greedily devoured me, but I called upon the Lord, and He delivered me (Psalm 55:16). As I spoke with my God, He reminded me, yet again, that my life is about Him not me. I must exalt Him; His glory must shine upon the earth (Psalm 57:11). My life is His instrument.

God allowed me to suffer hardship, but he restored my life and lifted me from the depths (Psalm 71:20). My life is an example to many because God is my strength and protection (Psalm 71:7). God tested me like silver melted in a crucible to purge from my life the useless slag of sin and selfishness (Psalm 66:10). I handed Him my burdens, and He cared for me (Psalm 55:22). I have invited others to view the awesome miracles He has done on my behalf (Psalm 66:5). Faithfully and with awe-inspiring deeds, he has answered my prayers for healing, for my family, my church, my school, and my friends (Psalm 65:5).

My prayers led to repentance. I confessed my sins of doubt and complaining, and God heard me. He did not remove His unfailing love from me (Psalm 66:17-19). I gave God what He desires, honesty from deep within my soul (Psalm 51:6). He gave me what He promises- a clean heart, a renewed spirit, and the presence of His Holy Spirit (Psalm 51: 10-11). I gave Him a broken spirit and repentant heart (Psalm 51:17); He gave me the joy of my salvation (Psalm 51:12).

So I begin again. I cry out to Him morning, noon and night (Psalm 55:17). I acknowledge that my life is in His hands, and He prevents me from stumbling (Psalm 66:9). Each day, he carries me (Psalm 68:19). My health will fail me, and my spirit will weaken, but at my core, God remains the strength of my heart (Psalm 73:26). My sovereign God shelters me beneath His wings until this storm passes me by (Psalm 57:1). Again, I see the glorious destiny toward which he is leading me, leading all of us (Psalm 73:24). I feel the joy of those who dwell in His courts (Psalm 65:4). I see overwhelming prosperity in my future (Psalm 72:7). He is mine, and I am His forever (Psalm 73:26). Through the discouragement of this good news, God has brought me to a place of abundance (Psalm 66:17).

God bless,

Tim