Are you lonesome tonight?

Are you lonesome tonight?
do you miss me tonight?
Are you sorry we drifted apart?
Does your memory stray to a bright sunny day
When I kissed you and called you sweetheart
Do the chairs in your parlor seem empty and bare
Do you gaze at your doorstep and picture me there
Is your heart filled with pain, shall I come back again
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?

Now the stage is bare and I'm standing there
With emptiness all around
And if you won't come back to me
Then they can bring the curtain down
Is your heart filled with pain, shall I come back again?
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?

Of course, you recognize the title and the exerpted words are from an old Elvis song and the context is a love relationship that was lost through drifting apart. Not exactly my circumstances. I do however identify with the title, with the loss and with the lonesome feelings.

But it is such an awful feeling that I battle many evenings as I contemplate going home. You see, it is not so much being at home alone but THINKING about going home to an empty house. My honey is gone; the love of my life. It is so hard to face that lonely drive home to an empty house. ONCE in the house, I busy myself with paperwork, reading emails, washing the dishes, doing laundry, getting ready for tomorrow and falling in to bed with the company of the TV. I wish I was more victorious but this feeling is not going away.

Eventually, when I move out of this house and begin living with others either in Virginia or in Texas maybe I won’t feel the emptiness.

I know God loves me and yearns to spend time with me. I know He said He will never leave me or forsake me. But I also yearn for human company. Not a marriage partner, just loving family or friends. Someone to talk to, laugh with, do something with – at home. Reminds me of our marriage bulletin and a plaque we have on the wall in the house which reads:

This day I marry my friend
The one I dream with, laugh with, love