So who cares?

Men need to be respected. Women want to be loved. That’s the general rule of thumb we are told for husbands and wives to keep in mind. We men have a desire to be a woman’s hero, protector, and provider.

I am not naturally handy or technical. But anytime I fixed something, no matter how simple, Jackie would go on about how clever I was, how willing I was to do things. And it worked! I felt good and the next time I would stand on my head to get a problem resolved! Sometimes, just her faith in me was the thing that kept me going until I found a solution. True, sometimes it was an improvised, low tech “missionary fix” but it got the job done!

In the first number of months after Jackie went to be with the Lord my grief was unbearable at times. And even after the first several months, the sense of emptiness, and not caring about things – a feeling of ‘what’s the use’ kept sweeping over me. I would leave things undone, bills unpaid, equipment in need of repair, messes everywhere, dirty dishes, etc…

It’s gotten better recently. In fact, in the last day or so at home, I got the vacuum cleaner, the garbage disposal and the computer working again - okay, in all 3 cases it was an easy ‘fix’. And the place is actually starting to look neat again and there are a few minimal Christmas decorations on the counter this year. But still I felt something was missing. Then I realized – there was no one to tell. No one to allow me to bask in the glory of “you’re so smart”, “you’ll try anything”, “that looks nice”, “you did a beautiful job”, etc…

So who cares now if I fix something around the house?

Too much of my life has been spent people pleasing (a good thing unless you lose touch with yourself). I find I often serve so others will think well of me. I’ll knock myself out for a compliment.

I have sensed that God is asking me, who are you Fred? What is important to you? Who are you when nobody is looking? It all seems to be part of an overall process the Lord is putting me through at this time in my life to help me differentiate from others (a childhood developmental task, by the way!), clarify and strengthen my character, discipline, commitments, diligence, integrity, allegiances, ministry and obedience to Him apart from who we were as a couple; apart from anyone else but Him.

So Who cares? The Lord cares! I just have to celebrate these minor victories myself. I have to do it for personal satisfaction and also, most importantly, do it as unto the Lord.
- Fred Miska

------------------------------------
22 Slaves, in all things obey those who are your masters on earth, not with external service, as those who merely please men, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord.
23 Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men,
24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve. (Colossians 3:22-24)

21 "His master said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful slave You were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master.' (Matthew 25:21).