I asked the Lord what I should do with myself on our wedding anniversary, October 20th. I was really concerned about that and wondered whether I should stay at somebody’s house or rent a hotel room. Whatever I did, I just knew I could not stay in the house alone on our anniversary. Then last weekend I received a voice mail that the men’s retreat I had been planning to go on this coming weekend had been postponed by one week! Unfortunately, for a couple of the men in the class, that made it impossible for them to attend. For me, it put me in the company of godly men, away from the house and focusing on the Lord, nature and fun activities on our wedding anniversary. Thank you, Lord, for that provision for my needs. I think I may still buy a bouquet of flowers and even a card and put it by Jackie's picture. I loved our anniversary and always remembered to celebrate it and to celebrate the gift Jackie was to my life.
The fact is, Jackie is still giving me good gifts. I continue to celebrate the close bond that Paulette, Gayle and I are experiencing. I enjoy talking with them frequently, knowing what's on their mind and heart and seeing them as often as possible. It looks as though we may be spending some of the coming holidays together. Plans are still forming.
I am getting things done around the house, paperwork and culling and cleaning – haven’t even touched Jackie’s things yet. As I get on top of messes and decisions that have to be made, I am finding that my mind seems to be relaxing and I am sleeping better. I think it is analogous to having a clean conscience. When things are right with the Lord we have greater peace of mind and heart.
Lord, thank you for going before me and making a way forward where not so many weeks ago there seemed no way.
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