On the other hand, I don’t want all this newness. I was content the way things were. I had my companion, my best friend, and the love of my life. I really don’t want to set up a little round table in the corner with a picture of Jackie and a rose next to it. I don’t want to change the house around. I don’t want to figure out what to do with myself so I won’t be so lonely. Sure, I'm going forward and I am making some changes, I am growing, learning and ministering some one on one but part of me just wants to sit down on the side of this road called, "Forward" and cry and scream, "I don’t want to do this!".
Well, I don’t have any choice so lets just be logical here. You can’t just sit on the side of the road and you can’t go back so YOU HAVE TO GO FORWARD. And so, I press on, toward the upward calling of Christ Jesus. Forward is the only way to go. Forward is where Jesus is. Forward is where Jackie is. He has gone before me: the “first fruits” of all that will be saved and resurrected.
But just let me sit by the side of the road a few more minutes. Then I’ll get up and go forward.
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