Grieving a loss, especially of the magnitude of a beloved spouse or other loved one is a progressive thing. You simply cannot comprehend all that you have lost and all the ramifications of that loss at one time. Perhaps that is why it is suggested that you list what you have lost. The purpose is not to dwell on or prolong your sense of grief but actually to work THROUGH it. For example, I have lost:
My best earthly friend
My…
Ø greeter when I come home
Ø fellow debriefer at the end of the day
Ø sister in the Lord
Ø prayer partner, prayer supporter, prayer warrior
Ø hugger, lover,
Ø person I communicate with throughout the day
Ø encourager
Ø truth teller
Ø financial record keeper
Ø marital status
Ø income from her social security
Ø co-decision maker and planner
Ø clothes washer
Ø homemaker
Ø Etc…
I am not finished with the list. Jackie was so much a part of my daily life and who I am. It will take a long time to rebuild but God is helping me and I can be whole again. Facing my losses in their various facets actually helps move through the grief process on to healing.
May I also encourage you to make a list of what you are thankful for in your spouse, children, parents or other loved ones while they are with you and share it with them. Jackie and I did that frequently for one another - verbally, in cards and notes and it deepened our relationship. Saying I love you is great and unconditional love is great. But it is also helpful to be concrete and specific about what you love and appreciate about your love one. Do it today.
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