On traveling, eating vegetables and loving

Tomorrow I travel to PA. I am not looking forward to the travel but I am definitely looking forward to the visits.

On the negative side, it’s the packing and trying to think of everything, preparing the house and getting my reservations, e-tickets, maps all in order. Lately, I seem to be forgetting things and losing things, having trouble making decisions and it seems packing and traveling brings all that out. And of course, once again I am making a trip alone! Then too, just the idea of traveling on a major holiday: The crowds, the standing in lines, and my bad back, walking to gates, changing gates. Parking the car, getting the shuttle, a big man sitting in small airplane seats, shaking my legs to maintain blood circulation so my cellulitis doesn’t act up, getting off the plane in PA, finding the shuttle to the rental car, finding/driving my route for several hours in the dark (I do have directions). And, it’s supposed to be raining in Lancaster on Wednesday. Wow. Do I need a major attitude adjustment, Lord, if I am going to enjoy the travel part of this trip.

But on the positive side, I am spending this holiday with friends and family whom I love. I get to give and receive love, eat vegetables, sleep soundly, deepen relationships, eat vegetables. Aaron and Marlene were our best friends in Dallas for many years before they moved. We were crushed when they told us they were moving. It has been good to stay in touch from time to time but it will be really good to spend time in their home with them and also to meet their family. Oh, and did I mention, eat vegetables? Then on Friday I plan to visit Jackie’s sister, Winifred, who also lives in the Lancaster area.

Then on to Tim and Gayle's. When Jackie first passed, I couldn't help feeling that there was a big hole she left as a parent (even if they are adults) and as a grandparent. I felt I should step up in my relationship with Paulette and the boys as well as with Tim, Gayle and their boys. But that is God's business really. Instead of a "should" I need to freely express my heart. How I personally really feel and care about them. I am realizing I can't really step in and fulfill the role and relationship Jackie had with them, I can only love them the way Fred would love them. And I do love them all!. So as I go to PA I hope I don’t try too hard to be grandpa to Gayle's young boys. That won't work. I just want to love them and enjoy them. I just want to try a little harder, perhaps, than I did before, to express that love.