It never ends. It is always the same. No matter how much people interaction I have; no mater how many great and wonderful AND sure promises I have. It is always the same. I am alone.
Once in awhile I am content, most of the time it is the same loneliness. I guess I can see progress. I can eat and sleep in my own house now. It’s just that the gloom still comes back, not all the time and so that is something to be glad about. Nevertheless, the gloom, like a fog on a gray day comes back in and whispers, “you are alone, this is unending”. I am not looking for another mate nor do I doubt God’s presence I just hate talking to myself, cooking for myself (when I do), sleeping alone in the house.
I will get better. Maybe I will eventually celebrate singleness and its few advantages for serving the Lord and others. Maybe, eventually I will be content at home, even extend hospitality to others. But I am not there yet. Surrounded by flat, painful one-dimensional pictures and reminders of what I have lost.
Lord help me to rebuke the whispers of the gloom. The Truth is I am going through the natural process of grieving. I will not have these feelings of loneliness forever. I think I know from whom the wispers out of the gloom are coming from!
Give me Your Grace, Lord, for the present and give me the patience to know that healing and a new normal is on it's way even if it will take some time.
What about you, dear reader of mine? Is the Whisperer telling you lies you need to rebuke?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment