The HOW and WHEN of grief emotions

It seems emotions of loss, grief and loneliness have a life and a mind of their own. One day, one minute I am feeling fine and the next moment I am completely distraught.

God has designed me to be an emotional being and during a period of grief, the strong emotions come and go at will. It is really hard to schedule them. Maybe later on in the healing process when they are not so intense, I will be better able to put them off temporarily. You know, wait until the evening or the weekend, etc…

This is kind of a pet peeve of mine but it bothers me when literature says that women are more this way then men. I guess it bothers me because many times the literature about women and emotions seems to describe me. Grief however is such a powerful emotion that I think it even overwhelms the most analytical of men. The following seems also true of most men as well as women during a period of intense grief:

Apparently, while we have some control over how we express grief emotions it seems we do not have much control over when we experience those emotions. Most of the grief literature encourages appropriate and gradual letting out of emotions when they occur. Capping the well of emotions, as many men and some women are apt to do, only serves to ensure there will be a huge explosion at a future point in time.

So, I need not be ashamed of being emotional - especially now. I am grieving and in pain.

“Lord help me to have your balance. I do not want to be all about my pain. I do not want to express grief inappropriately or respond to my pain inappropriately. And I do not want to be so consumed by it that I don’t think of others and their pain and their needs. You are just going to have to help me with this Lord because the emotions I have been experiencing are at times completely overpowering. AMEN"

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helpful guidance from Scripture

"Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge" (Psalm 62:8).

"Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn" (Romans 12:15).

"I am bowed down and brought very low; all day long I go about mourning. . . . I am feeble and utterly crushed; I groan in anguish of heart. . . . For I am about to fall, and my pain is ever with me" (Psalm 38:6, 8, 17).

"He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may dwell in me" (2 Corinthians 12:9 NASB).

"He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?" (Micah 6:8 NASB).