the lady handed me the box and said, "Here she is".

We buried Jackie’s “cremains” today. I had not thought it would be so hard. After all, I know the Truth. I know where she is now. Her earthly “tent” has been folded up and left behind. She is not there. But when I went to the funeral home to pick up the box containing the ashes, the lady handed me the box and said, “Here she is”. I don’t know if that was an incredibly stupid thing to say or if they typically say that but it caught me off guard. I carried the box to the truck, put it on the passenger seat and then stood outside the truck and nearly threw up, coughing and crying for a few minutes. I was taking Jackie on her last trip and in her car. “Do you want some music on, honey?” Let’s just take a nice slow trip down to Red Oak/Paulette’s or maybe we’ll just keep driving and that way I will always have you with me.

Strange how one comment can set me off. Even a comment that is simply not true. That was not Jackie. She is not here. She is very much alive and thoroughly enjoying being with the Lord.

I’ve got to have periods of sadness. I need to take in the loss in order to move on. But I need to guard against untruths. Satan would love to use these to cause me to grieve uncontrollably and be non-functional. I could list all the non-truths he has tried to whisper in my ear. Maybe someday I will. It might be instructive.