Why am I here?

Why am I here: a question that has come to mind not a few times. And, frankly, a few times I have said to myself, “I really don’t want to be here. I want to die”. Of course, that’s just the kind of thinking Satan wants me to have. So I have had to repudiate that. And I have. When those thoughts come I try to fill my mind with God’s Word and God’s purposes. So, I am okay. Don’t worry, I am not going to either hurt myself or give up on life. But, the question remains, why am I STILL here?

I am here because of what God yet wants to do IN me and THROUGH me.

IN me. This is by far the worst crisis of my life though there have been some terribly difficult ones in the past. God’s overall purpose seems to always be the same: to test my faith that endurance might develop so that I might become mature and Christ-like. I can latch on to that as a purpose. I am also well aware of specific character traits and patterns in my life that He wants to work on with me.

THROUGH me. Some of my remaining ‘ambassadorial’ responsibilities are still unknown to me. But clearly I am surrounded by people, people who are not dead yet. Well, you know - people who are still on their journey and they need whatever I have from the Lord. I can invest myself in my family, my friends, my co-workers and into lives I’ve yet to meet.

I am certainly not ready to announce that I am finished mourning – because I am not! But I am resigned to the fact that there is no appropriate or available short cut out either. I am not going to get out of this thing called life until God does what He wants to do IN and THROUGH me. As much as I want to go on to heaven, “which is far better” as the Apostle Paul himself said, it is necessary that I remain.

So let’s get on with it. I’d still like to get “it” done quickly and get out of here but I guess that’s not under my control either, is it?